Desire for All That Was Lost
by Amilya Eclair Farron
Summary: "Don't you remember when we were kids and I told you to call me Kairi?" She asked and he hesitated before giving a stiff nod. "So please, call me Kairi." : Set during New Years. AU. Late Christmas present :


Note for Zexion's Girlfriend: I finally finished your Christmas gift! I have to say, I figured you would have changed your mind (like, wanting an iTunes card or something). But when you had told me 'No, this is seriously what I wanted' I did my best to hurry and finish it. Sorry it's late, but besides thinking it was a joke it was my family's turn to hold the Christmas and New Year's party. But I hope you like it! Late Merry Christmas and a Day Late Happy New Year!

Back to Audience: OK, so this is a bit (a bit? More like it is) AU. It's been awhile since I've played _Kingdom Hearts _so I think there's a few OOC moments here.

Disclaimer: I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_ or its characters. A pitiful shame, it is.

Enjoy!

* * *

_Desire for All That Was Lost_

* * *

She couldn't believe that another year had passed on by and soon would come to a close. It hadn't seemed all that long ago that they had just _started_ and yet the clock said otherwise. And in a strange sense she was sad it came to a close. Each year brought new adventures, new friends, and even new enemies. Something that always made her smile, teary-eyed, or frustrated about but whenever it drew to a close she found she missed those times.

Sora had suggested they throw a party for this jolly occasion and everyone agreed upon. He had made well to keep everything in check, including placing the orders for the load of fireworks that he would set off (with the help of adults; they didn't quiet trust him to set off the gunfire, alone and unsupervised) while others would chat amongst themselves and mingle.

A few feet away from her she could see Yuffie, the ever energetic ninja, jumping in her spot as she begged Leon to dance. Merlin had bewitched the instruments to play all types of Christmas songs and plenty of other goodies while Demyx played along side them, water figures appearing to put on a show; gracefully swaying and twirling. There were a few out on the dance floor surprisingly including a (begrudging) Larxene partnered up with Marluxia. Kairi blinked knowing how Larxene always told her that she enjoyed playing 'hard to get' with the men (secretly dating a certain mulled-haired guy) and told her to do the same (she decided to simply ignore that 'advice').

She scanned the crowd and the tables; Axel eating sea-salt ice cream while idly chatting Xigbar and Saix's ears off, Vexen giving a few shifty eyes before turning back to, what she guessed, an experiment, Aerith offering some appetizers to Tifa and Cloud, and Cid becoming frustrated as Luxord one at another hand of poker. Hayner and Seifer both glowering at one another while poor Olette stood between the two, looking uncertain of what to do (they must have asked at the exact same time), Selphie gazing dreamily at the dance floor, and Xigbar grinning cheekily as he (with an uncomfortable looking) Xaldin flittered away with two young woman (one who happened to be Tidus's mother).

Part of her thought it would be best to quickly make her way over there; stop Xigbar before he got himself hurt. But that tactic was shot down like a plane as Riku appeared beside her, a light smile on his lips.

"Hey Kairi," he greeted casually and she nodded in return; smiling softly at him, "have you seen Fuu? Sora said he invited Seifer's whole gang."

"No, I don't think I have…" She answered as she turned back to the scenario focusing her attention for find the teenager; she hadn't seen them with her two other groupies which meant she was likely in the women's restroom or blocked by those few standing around.

"Huh."

"Why are you searching for her anyway?"

"Wakka had seen her earlier and wanted me to talk to her for him." He replied grimly and a soft laugh escaped past the redhead's lips. "Laugh it up, Kairi. You know if Namine sees it she'll take it the wrong way."

"No she won't, Riku, you know that." She reminded him and gave him a playful hit in the shoulder. "Besides you forget that she's _my_ cousin and therefore I know her longer than you do."

"Yeah, yeah…" he rolled his eyes but a smile was tugged at his lips.

"So do you," she paused as she stifled a yawn before continuing, "sorry, know what time it is?"

"Um, I think when I last checked it was fifty minutes 'til midnight." He answered and glanced back almost expecting to see a giant clock to show how many minutes were left until the New Year arrived. "But maybe we only have about thirty minutes left." He shrugged before glancing back at her. "Think you'll make it before passing out?"

"Of course I will; I'm not five." Kairi answered and fought back another yawn. Truth be told she was ready to hit the sack at any moment, but couldn't. She had signed up to be part of the clean up crew; seeing as she hadn't had any time to help pitch in getting everything ready. Although when she had, only two other names had been written down before hers and she wouldn't let those poor souls be stuck doing it all (if no one else had signed after hers).

"Aww, is little Kairi tired and ready for bed-y by time?" He teased and again got a playful hit in the shoulder. "OK, OK sorry I'll stop. Geez," Riku rubbed his arm in a sarcastic manner, "that hurt Kairi."

She grinned and turned back to gaze at the friends and family that surrounded them. By now the song had changed and Demyx had set his sitar aside, already on the dance floor asking to have the next dance with the blond beauty (who seemed to be putting up a 'fuse'). Marluxia, on the other hand, gave her away to the mullet kid before striding over towards a table where her cousin was seated with a notepad.

"Looks like Marluxia's gonna see if Namine will dance with him."

Riku instantly shook his head as his eyes darted around to find the pink haired man before spotting them and without further ado took off. In response Kairi giggled and started on her own trail, wandering around to see who else had come to the party (she hadn't really scanned all the tables while everyone was seated).

It seemed that Yuffie had given up on Leon, seeing as he refused to dance and was now pleading with someone Kairi didn't recognize. She than noticed Fuu and how Wakka seemed to have found her (he had seen Riku talking with Kairi and decided he should search for the teen) while making gestures of how he had won one of his games triumphantly.

"Hi Kairi," Selphie greeted her as she took a seat, face resting her hands as she continued to dreamily stare off at the dance floor and sighed, "no one's asked you to dance either, huh?"

The teen blinked and raised an eyebrow. "Selphie, if you want to dance you should make an effort to _find _that dancing partner. Like how Yuffie is, see?" She pointed at ninja who, for the third time, was pleading with Cid this time. "You have to make an effort, you know."

"I would only…"

"'Only'?" Kairi pressed her wondering what was up.

"Tidus is too busy helping Sora set up the fireworks." She finished and a grin crept itself on Kairi's face. She had a feeling that her friend held special feelings for the boy, but would always refuse it whenever she would question it.

"I thought Xemnas and Lexaeus were helping with that?" Kairi blinked remembering that Xemnas had _volunteered _to do that task, also telling that Lexaeus would help as well. Sora hadn't mentioned Tidus helping; he had declined Riku and her to helping out.

"Yeah, but you know those two."

"But Riku and I are his _best_ friends… and he wouldn't let us help him…"

"Maybe he didn't want Riku to miss out New Years with Namine?" Selphie lazily shrugged and her eyes flicked over to Kairi. "What about you? What's your reason for not trying to get a partner? Still not waiting for Sora, right?"

In response she gave a shrug.

"_Kairi_,"

"_What_?" She returned the same whiny tone Selphie had used.

"You know he holds feelings for… well… and that he only sees you as…" The girl broke off her sentences not wanting to harm her friend in remembering how they had been informed by Namine that Sora had asked a girl, two years younger, out.

"I _know _that." Kairi didn't bat an eye as she stared right back at Selphie who had squirmed in her seat.

"Then shouldn't you be looking for someone if you wanna dance?"

"Whoever said I wanted to dance?"

"I just assumed."

"You know what 'assume' does to people."

"It makes an a-s out of you and me." She said and Kairi smirked while nodding in agreement. "… well… do you wanna dance?"

"I suppose…"

"Then you should go in search! Oh, look why not Demyx?" Selphie asked as her eyes spotted him on the dance floor, with Larxene in his arms. She had no idea that the two were dating and Kairi knew better than to tell her. Selphie was the gossip queen; end of story.

"Nah, he'll probably have to play again once this song ends."

"Hmm, well there's always Wakka?"

Kairi gave her a blank look.

"... you could try him?" She pointed over at Hayner who stood on the sidelines, pouting, as Seifer lead Olette in perfect sync with the melody. "Uh… Hayner, wasn't it? He might be a good dance partner. Or you could try his friend?" Again she searched the clustered people and finally pointed out Pence (who was talking with Rai) seated at a few tables away from them.

"Maybe,"

"What about him?" Selphie gasped as she pointed over at a table across the ways, jaw slacking in the process and eyes popping out of its sockets. "He looks pretty cute, though he doesn't seem much for chattering. Or dancing with even…"

Kairi blinked and turned her body halfway around to see who it was Selphie was pointing at.

And that's when she saw _him_.

Instantly she bolted back around and Selphie blinked, eyebrow raised in question, at the pink coloring hinting the redhead's cheeks. "Kairi…?"

"…"

"Do you _like _him?" Selphie asked trying to contain her squeal of excitement while waiting for her friend to answer. Although not audibly; instead her cheeks heated almost turning a cherry red and Selphie gave another gasp, "You do! You do!"

"Shut up, Selphie." Kairi growled and composed herself. "I know… knew… him. It's been _ages_ since I've seen him. I'm just surprised he actually showed up."

"Wha…?! When did you two meet!" She yelled and those around them turned their focus on the two teenage girls.

"It was before I came to Destiny Islands, Selphie."

"How adorable; a childhood crush! And here I believed you'd grow old still puppy sick in love with Sora." She stuck her tongue out at her knowingly. "You have to go over there and have him dance with you! It'd be _so_ romantic!"

The urge to strangle her was quickly rising within Kairi as she gritted her teeth.

"He's in the middle of _reading_."

"He's a bookworm," she shrugged carelessly, "he can always get back to it tomorrow."

"Ugh,"

"Don't be such a sore loser, Kairi."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Selphie rose from her seat and Kairi soon started to panic. "But if you don't want to dance with him, I will." She winked and waited to see if she'd take the bait. When she hadn't, she shrugged again and maneuvered around the table while making her way towards him.

Kairi blinked; confused at what just happened before it finally kicked into her brain. Quickly she dashed fell from her seat, scrambling over to the table and ended up tripping, whacking her head against the designated table.

"Oh, there she is!" Selphie chirped happily and Kairi groggily stared up at her. "She's just a bit exhausted… normally on New Years, she goes to bed around ten and doesn't bother to wait until midnight arrives. Isn't that right?"

"Uh," Kairi groaned in response as she sat up, rubbing her forehead in the process, feeling the need to kill her friend grow stronger and stronger.

"Anyway, she really wants to dance but either everyone's taken or don't wanna. So you're the only option left. And it would really make her—OW!" She winced as Kairi stepped on her foot (after rising to her feet, of course) and pouted pathetically at the redhead. "What was _that_ for?"

"I'm sorry, is my friend bothering you?" Kairi ignored her and turned her attention to him, swallowing dryly as his deep blue eyes (one hidden by that curtain of steel blue hair) stared right into her lighter ones. "I think she got her hands on some wine or beer or something…"

"I have not!"

"Yes, you _have_." Kairi 'corrected'.

Selphie grumbled under her breath before turning her attention back to him. "She's really embarrassed she had me ask you for her. That and it's because she finds you absolutely sexy—OW!" Again Selphie whimpered as Kairi stepped on her foot. "Stop doing that! Honestly, I'm just helping you!"

"I'll just take her away now…" Kairi stated, gripping her arm, while beginning to walk away only to stop dead in her tracks.

"I suppose I can allow one dance."

"_Huh_?"

Selphie squealed in delight and clapped her hands (Kairi had let go in utter surprise) as she jumped up and down. "Oh, thank you! I knew you wouldn't let her be disappointed! Thank you so much Mr.! See, Kairi? I _told_ you. All you had to do is _ask_!"

He stood from his seat and glided around the table before holding his arm out to the redhead. "Shall we?"

"Go on Kairi." Selphie encouraged when Kairi hadn't made a movement. "Don't keep him hanging there; go on and _dance_!"

Slowly Kairi slid her arm into his and he escorted her to the dance floor; Kairi taking a glance back at her 'horrible' friend who smiled brightly and waved, mouthing encouraging words to her before a fellow dance couple blocked her view and her escort finished leading them to a spot. He placed a hand on her waist while the other interlaced their fingers and she placed her free hand on his shoulder.

A blue crept onto her face seeing as the song had changed into a slow one and Demyx had announced that ten minutes were left before New Years arrived. It seemed that it should have arrived hours ago from how long her and Selphie's conversation had been; she wished.

"You're friend is quiet carefree." He commented, eyes glancing around their surroundings; anywhere, but her face and she was thankful for that. She rather not have him see her blushing nearly the color of Axel's fiery red hair.

"She's crazy." Kairi responded and felt the hairs on her neck tingle; she was positive Selphie was spying on the two, most likely sighing dreamily at times. Good Lord, that girl probably was praying to see some action from the two so she could tell everyone about it.

He smirked but still kept his eyes averted. "Indeed,"

Kairi's thoughts swirled around in her head; trying to think of a sensible topic to discuss or comment about something besides Selphie. It had been years since she had seen, talked, with him and he had changed drastically over those times. He wasn't _the_ same boy she had known back at Radiant Garden. He was completely different from when she had met him. And yet at the same time he wasn't. Just like the rest of them… they were different since she had seen them, but not.

"You do know you didn't have to do this. You could have said no."

"I suppose." He answered. "But would that still stop her from bugging me to dance with her instead?"

"… you have a point."

He nodded knowing fully well that he did. "Besides, it's been awhile. Has it not, princess?"

"My name is Kairi."

"I know that."

"So call me by my name and not by, what used to be, my title."

"It still remains your title, princess."

She shook her head lightly and heard Demyx announce that five minutes where left before the New Year made its arrival. Her thoughts turned back to Sora and she was positive he must've been giddy from anticipation; begging to set them off now while those there said no.

"Don't you remember when we were kids and I told you to call me Kairi?" She asked and he hesitated before giving a stiff nod. "And you remember how annoyed I always got when you called me 'princess'?" Another stiff nod was his reply. "So, please, call me Kairi. It's my name and I like it."

"Of course," he seemed to hesitate before finally, "Kairi."

"See, it wasn't that hard." She smiled up at him and his eyes flashed to her face before back to scanning the room. Kairi decided to turn her attention towards the stage; entranced by the instruments playing on their own minus Demyx's sitar. "I wonder what the New Year will bring…"

"What are you hoping it will bring?"

"I'm hoping… I'm hoping I'll remember more about what happened during my time at Radiant Garden as a kid." Kairi murmured and he gazed down at her in questioning. "And that nothing bad will happen to anyone."

He gave an 'hmm'.

"What about you?" She stared up at him with curiosity; waiting for his reply until the music stopped and their dancing came to an end as Demyx announced it was 'count down time' before starting at 'ten'.

"It was a pleasure to see you again, Kairi." He lightly smiled and bowed before sliding past the people that had gathered around to join Demyx in the count down and soon Selphie was at her side like a leech attached to its prey.

"He didn't kiss you! What did you _do_? Did you patronize him? Or did you refuse him because you're still, hopeless in puppy love with Sora?" She scolded her and waited for the reason on why nothing happened between the two. "You rejected him, huh? Tell me you didn't!"

"Selphie,"

"Oh no, he already has a girlfriend."

"Selphie," She tried again.

"I don't believe it! You like someone else instead, right?"

"Selphie!" Kairi screeched over the loud cheers and the cracks of fireworks as they lit the sky. The girl raised her eyebrows obviously knowing her friend had said her name, but if she said anything else she wouldn't be able to hear.

Finally everyone seemed to settle down; those that had went to light the fireworks bounded back and thankfully Selphie stopped interrogating her seeing as Tidus had waved to her and she said her 'see ya' before hurrying towards him. Few people had left early, but soon the place was completely empty and Kairi found herself one of the two people left on clean up duty (someone before her had up and left without a word and she wasn't sure if anyone else had signed up to begin with).

She and Aerith both agreed it would be easier to clean by themselves working on half of the room. Kairi, however, seemed to find herself thinking of the night's events and how it seemed odd how she had acted such a way around him. When more of her memories had returned, she had remembered how it was the opposite way around (in a sense); where he was always the shyer one than she. But now she found that instead she was the shy one while he was… different. Though she knew once she saw her friend again she would end up saying a 'thanks' for having him dance with her.

Nah, she'd make sure the girl wouldn't hear it. If she did; there never would be an end to it.

She wiped her bangs away from her face and sighed, knowing this was going to be a very long night. Already she felt her eyelids wanting to close on her forever from how late she had already stayed up for and she wished to oblige it, but knew that poor Aerith would be left with all the work.

"I can't believe this…" Kairi muttered and felt the need to tell Sora that having a clean up crew RIGHT AFTER the party was complete bull and the dumbest idea he had ever had. She had remembered how Namine had offered her help, but Kairi knew that Riku wanted to walk her home (he had shown her a present he had gotten for her cousin for New Years; positive he would give it then). A few others had offered their assistance, but Aerith had said she could handle it. Or they could, that was.

"Having fun?"

She squeaked and bolted upright, having squatted down on the floor to reach for a piece of garbage before the voice had made itself known and she blinked as she saw who was seated at the table.

"W-What are you doing here?" She asked in disbelief, watching as he turned a page in his lexicon.

"You had asked me what I wanted to see the New Year bring."

Kairi blinked and raised an eyebrow in surprise. Never did she think he would come back simply because he wanted to answer her question. It didn't seem like something he would do. "Um… yeah… I did…"

He nodded in agreement as his eyes flashing to connect with hers while he snapped his book shut before it disappeared. He rose from the chair he occupied in and soon he stood in front of her; the heat in her cheeks rising once again because of how close they where.

"You know, Kairi, as a Nobody the Organization had desired to gain their hearts once more." He stated and she nodded knowing how Axel had spoke of it many times before as did Saix when he had recaptured her from the fire master. "As soon as we gained our hearts, I believed to have desired nothing more. And yet…" He seemed to pause choosing his words carefully, needing them to be precise and accurate, "it wasn't until tonight that I desired something else now."

Kairi again blinked still lost in confusion.

"As a Nobody, I always remembered Ienzo's feelings for…" Again the sentence trailed off and he had snapped his eyes away from hers for a brief moment before they were connected again.

Something in his movements told Kairi that he never found himself in this type of situation before and she tilted her head to the side.

"The desire I had wanted to get my heart back was great, but now… what good is that when it's always been with the one I have desired most?" He finished keeping his face straight and Kairi felt herself blushing all the more.

"I don't… I don't understand."

He heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Really, Kairi, you were always such a smart girl. What happened to that brain of yours?"

"It's gotten smarter and wiser, thank you." She huffed although part of it was cut off as his lips connected with hers and her face glowed bright red. And suddenly she found face pressed against his chest, legs turned to jelly, and his arms wrapped around her tiny form.

"Now do you understand?"

She wondered where Aerith was, having heard no other sound in the room, but that didn't really matter (actually it did, but Aerith wasn't one to shoot her mouth off like Selphie) and nodded lightly, cheeks still warm from gaining her first kiss.

"Happy New Year, Kairi." He answered and she grinned suddenly, knowing what he really meant behind the words.

"I love you too, Zexion."

* * *

I think this was a fail. (-cries-)

Truthfully I never thought of these two until a certain someone (coughZexion'sGirlfriendcough) had asked me to write her a Zexy/Kairi oneshot for Christmas. Obviously it's late, but if you read the part that her note it's because I figured she would want something else and not this. But she truly wanted this so here it is! Took me days to finish too with dealing the New Year's party. But it's finally here.

When I get a chance, I'm replaying the games to get a better sense of the characters. Because I think I want to write another Zexy/Kairi oneshot. Don't know, we'll see, right?

Thanks for reading, readers! Be kind to leave a review?


End file.
